Planning

I have to say that I am not a big fan of planning detailed stuff. I can do it and have been doing, but it really is not my thing. It's really stretching really. I have been trying to plan outreach. For 8 people including myself. Planning outreach can be fun if you know what your doing. It's difficult trying to plan something where you have never been and think of questions to ask the people you are in communication with. It's easy to plan for something where my own language is spoken. But what about the places that english isn't widely known?

Anyways, all that to say that planning outreach is getting to me and I am about to pull my hair out and be bald. So just beware if you see me with no hair!

Trying to Make Decisions.

I feel like the last few months has been God putting the obvious into my lap. Telling me "Ok... Let's do this"

I have struggled with stepping out into the unknown and taking a risk. Stepping into something that is out of my comfort zone. Stepping into something that has been on my heart and really just diving in. But it has been a process to get me to where I am. I am in the process of walking in that decisions. I don't have all the details figured out and I don't know what it's going to totally look like. But I know that I am walking true and right. I am excited. I am scared. I am sad. But I know that I have caught the heart of the Father. I am running with it. That makes me happy.

All In A Days Work

Labor Day turned out to be just that! We started work at 7am. The truck bed full of corn ears pulled up to the start of our assembly line.

You have the huskers, someone blanching, the people cutting the corn off the cob and the person scooping it into gallon Ziplock bags. Ear after Ear... I begin to see visions of more and more corn. I think it will be apart of my dreams.

There is something very satisfying about working so hard and seeing the profit from that hard day of work.

My arms are sore from cutting corn for 7 hours and I am almost about to fall asleep as I type this... But it was a fun day. Working with friends, and getting a project done.

Ahhhhhhh! That is a nice feeling!

When I Should Be Sleeping

Since I can't sleep and I have so many thoughts running through my head (Hence the lack of sleep) I have been contemplating my life. The past, present and future.

I am what a lot of people would call a goodie goodie. In my many years in life I have found that there are not many of us around. Many look down on us. Many don't think we understand life because we haven't "lived" it. I look at it as a blessing. Not to be one who has had to deal with the pain and suffering of sin. It is not a "better then you" mentality but a gratefulness. I am not perfect and have struggled. Mine have just looked different.

I have been contemplating the two choices. The choice to follow God and the choice not to. I have heard people say that it is to difficult to follow God... so they don't even try. I have heard people make the conscious choice to go against God. Some don't even have a clue or understand any different. I have also seen those who have been faithful to walk upright and true. To walk in the true heritage of God. The one road may seem to be easy and carefree but it only leads to death. The second seems rough and hard but it is the true path to life. At a young age I have chosen the path of life.

I can not give you an exact date that I "accepted Jesus" I don't think I ever did. I saw truth at a young age and make the choice every day to accept it. Somedays are easier then others. But I still choose to accept.

There is a simplicity in the complication and hugeness of God.

I look at life and I look at who I know God to be, who He says He is: I AM.

His presence holds us together. Without him we wouldn't even be to make the choice, yet he allows us to do so.

It is just logic to me.

I don't need answers to all the unfathomable questions. Yes I have questions. Those questions and their answers fit inside an awesome God.

I have struggled in my self discovery. Who am I? What am I to be? These last years has been discovering that. I can tell you that I am more confident in who I am now then I use to be in the past.

I have discovered a love for people, especially youth!

I have discovered a confidence that I didn't have before.

So I continue on this journey called life. It is going to look extremely different from yours. But yet they can be very similar .

I still struggle. I still question. I still have doubts. I still dream. I still live each moment as it comes. But under it all. It's my foundation that counts and I really want to acknowledge my foundation for who He is.

I don't know what my future is going to look like. I wonder when God is going to bring that husband around. I wonder where God's going to take me and have me do. And even though I have conversations about these things with God often. I am confident in Him, though my confidence level goes up and down.

So I guess what I saying is I choose to take the "hard road" that in reality is the "easy road" and not try the "easy road" which in the long run is the "hard road".

It's a journey! Really it's an adventure!

Through The Green Glass Door

I am going through the Green Glass Door and I am taking a tree but leaving the bark.

Taking a pool but leaving the water

Taking some bubbles but leaving the gum

Taking pizza but leaving the plates

Taking my books but leaving my movies

Taking green but leaving blue

Taking Macbook but leaving the computer

Taking pills but leaving chocolate

Taking puppies but leaving dogs

Taking loopy but leaving Sanity.

Do you know this Game? It reminds me of my SST kiddos 2008...We would play this. Can you figure it out if not?

Applying life to God

I have sat in many of church services that give you the 5 steps to apply God into your life. I sit there thinking, "Something is so wrong here" First off, I HATE steps! 

The seven steps to happiness, or the 5 steps to knowing who God is. Seriously steps are the stupidest things ever! As if I could know God in 5 steps! 

It also bothers me that I am being told to apply God to life. It's backwards. We really need to apply life to God.  Our lives should be lived not because we have God compartmentalized into our life. But we are compartmentalized our lives into HIS life. 

It makes sense that the smaller thing fits into the bigger thing. Duh! So why do we try to do the opposite when it comes to God? Why do we try to fit him into our lives? 

IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK PEOPLE!!!!! It's not about us! Whoa, there's a shocker!

So I have a challenge for the Bride of Christ.

Let us flip it around and put ourselves in God's life instead of trying to fit him into ours. It makes sense. He is oh so much more bigger then we are. He is better in every way. 

Really it JUST MAKES SENSE!

Home

Due to the lifestyle that I live, I have discovered that the word "Home" has multiple meanings. 

Home, where I live.

Home, where I am staying.

Home, where I am at.

Home, where the heart is.

Home, where my family is.

I just went to a few different homes this last month. It's always wonderful being able to see my family and friends that I grew up with.  No matter where I go and what I do, this Home is always there. It changes a lot but at the same time it really doesn't.

We Malicks still go out once it gets dark and play Sanctuary Light. No matter how old we get.

We still sit around the dining room table and eat together. The faces may change some but whoever is there all sit down and enjoy a meal.

We still go and watch the church's softball team play. And the fans still get excited when we actually get a run in! :-) 

We still do the old traditions but there are new traditions. The family also grows.

My brother and Sis in law just had a beautiful baby girl two days after I arrived.  I will admit... I am enjoying the role of proud Auntie.  (For more pictures see my Facebook I have an album dedicated to just my niece.)

My family may be big. But I can't imagine it being any different.  I love being able to spend time with each of my siblings. To see how God is working in each of their lives. 

Playing Grown-up

Often times we watch young kids as they play: "Ok she's the mommy, he's the daddy." or " I'm the teacher or doctor" (and it's not perverted)  It's cute! We all get a chuckle at them pretending to be grown-ups in their eyes.

Sometimes I feel like I am still playing grown up. When did I get to the point where I am not that kid pretending anymore. That I am now old enough to be considered that adult and I have to do it seriously. There is a flair button on facebook that says " When did we become adults and how do you make it stop?" 

 I look at things attempts to be an responsible adult:

Work

Pay Bills

Relationships (Friends, Spouse, Co-Workers etc)

Drive people to and from

Mentor/Disciple

Make phone calls to places like United Airlines to redeem my air milage

Travel

Cook and feed people                                                     

Be responsible for kids

What happen to the good ole days when I didn't have to worry about what I was doing so much as. I just had to worry that my bike was put away in the right spot.

So I step back and look at life. I see not only myself but others trying to play their part.

Ok your the mommy He's the daddy. You be the teacher and I am going to play the queen! :-) JK

So here's to playing the game of playing adults and hoping that I actually get it right.

A Round of Applause for Mom

I don't really want to be cliche about this but really that is what I am doing.

It is Mothers Day. 

But honestly I have been working on this for a while. I have been trying to figure out how to write what has been in my head for the last few days. Really it all comes down to this...

I wanted to take a moment and really honor my mom.  If i were to look back through my life, my mom is probably going to be the person who stands out the most in all my memories.  

One thing that I really admire about my mom is her love for family. To my mom family isn't just my dad, us kids, my grandparents, aunts, uncles. etc... family are the people around her.

My mother has a motto. " after you have been to our house 3 times you are no longer guest. You are family.... find your own cup" I love this motto and have taken it as one of my own. 

I admire my mom... someone who has shown love, gentleness, discipline, and has prayed like crazy for me. 

Thanks Mom! 

Blast From The Past

I found this picture today. I had to laugh! We called this "Ed's Angels" (Thats' my dad :-) ) 

My mom had made the girls dresses and matching hats. Jeremy and Philip ran with it.  

Yeah we are goofs but it was fun. Just us siblings. An age span of 16 years but we can still have fun together. I love it. I will treasure this pic for the years to come.

Going Green!

Ahhhh, there is something so peaceful with a May shower. It also makes me giddy and ready to jump for joy at any moment. Winter is FINALLY over! The mountain is actually turning green. The weather is warming up and pretty soon all the snow will be gone from existence. At least for a short time.  In town there are actually leaves appearing on trees and my favorite lilacs are in full bloom! Spring has arrived in all it's glory. 

This also means that the base will also swing into busy summer schedule here. My favorite time on the mountain. Jammed pack with people and activities. Which is a relief after the extreme quiet moments (it is a nice break but I much rather be around people.) 

The changing of the seasons, the life that comes with spring, it is an awesome reminder of God's brilliance! Take this moment with me and just marvel the creator & his creation.

Was blogging really a good idea?

HA! I would say that I could really get addicted to this. I am always writing and love having a place to do so! I could ramble on for a very long time. Just start typing whatever comes to my head. (Like I am doing now.)

There are so many topics, thoughts whirling around in my head... Oh which one to pick?

What's in a name?

Choices?

Things of the past?

Random info I come across?

Contemplating life's problems?

The expecting of my niece Paige to arrive the end of this Month.

My parents Cow named Dinner?

I could go in so many directions.  Already I have many thoughts that could keep this thing going for weeks!

The question is... Why didn't I start this sooner? What took me so long to get to this point? WHAT WAS I THINKING?

But even now as I contemplate this, I have the realization that I can't even get into any of these topics. Because just the contemplating of them is taking up this whole blog. That and I smell the delicious aroma of lunch coming from downstairs. Steak and sweet potatoes... jealous now aren't you? 

The Comings and Goings

I think one of the biggest things that I have really struggled with being in this kind of life style is the comings and goings of people ALL THE TIME! You have a new person come in, you have to spend the time and energy to really get to know them. Then all of a sudden they are off going on to the next thing God has for them. 

I have counted up the amount of roommates and housemates I have actually had in the last 5 years living in Cimarron. (This is not including Texas either!) 12 girls! In 5 years 12 different people I have lived with. All of these girls have now moved on except one but she is on outreac

h right now.

So why am I on this subject right now? Well I have had yet another housemate leave today.  I've been contemplating this life path that I am on now.  I also have been thinking about how I am super blessed by these people who have entered my life. Yes it is hard to have them come, become best of friends with many and see them leave.  But yet, God has blessed me with so many good friends. Not just here but all over the world.  I have friends in Thailand, England, New Zealand, Canada, Pakistan,  Afghanistan, and all over the USA. What a blessing it is to be able to communicate with these people. Email, Facebook, Myspace, Skype, Snail Mail Etc. All of these things have helped me to keep in contact with my friends. 

Despite the fact that I always miss these people. And I know that some I will see again and others I will not.  I know that God puts these people in my life for such a time as this! I love these people. And I will enjoy getting to know the new people in the future. To all my

 friends who have come and gone.... you know who you are..... I love you and miss you.

To all those people who have seen me come and go... I love you and miss you too. But it's awesome what God is doing so THANK YOU for releasing me! :-) 

Starting a Blog

So I decided that maybe it would be a good thing to do a blog. For those at home and around the world. I can use this like a newsletter too. Plus I like to write so it will be fun to have a place to put thoughts.... So we will see how this goes. I hope I can figure it all out. :-)

So since I have just started this thanks for reading it :-)