Planning

I have to say that I am not a big fan of planning detailed stuff. I can do it and have been doing, but it really is not my thing. It's really stretching really. I have been trying to plan outreach. For 8 people including myself. Planning outreach can be fun if you know what your doing. It's difficult trying to plan something where you have never been and think of questions to ask the people you are in communication with. It's easy to plan for something where my own language is spoken. But what about the places that english isn't widely known?

Anyways, all that to say that planning outreach is getting to me and I am about to pull my hair out and be bald. So just beware if you see me with no hair!

Trying to Make Decisions.

I feel like the last few months has been God putting the obvious into my lap. Telling me "Ok... Let's do this"

I have struggled with stepping out into the unknown and taking a risk. Stepping into something that is out of my comfort zone. Stepping into something that has been on my heart and really just diving in. But it has been a process to get me to where I am. I am in the process of walking in that decisions. I don't have all the details figured out and I don't know what it's going to totally look like. But I know that I am walking true and right. I am excited. I am scared. I am sad. But I know that I have caught the heart of the Father. I am running with it. That makes me happy.

All In A Days Work

Labor Day turned out to be just that! We started work at 7am. The truck bed full of corn ears pulled up to the start of our assembly line.

You have the huskers, someone blanching, the people cutting the corn off the cob and the person scooping it into gallon Ziplock bags. Ear after Ear... I begin to see visions of more and more corn. I think it will be apart of my dreams.

There is something very satisfying about working so hard and seeing the profit from that hard day of work.

My arms are sore from cutting corn for 7 hours and I am almost about to fall asleep as I type this... But it was a fun day. Working with friends, and getting a project done.

Ahhhhhhh! That is a nice feeling!

When I Should Be Sleeping

Since I can't sleep and I have so many thoughts running through my head (Hence the lack of sleep) I have been contemplating my life. The past, present and future.

I am what a lot of people would call a goodie goodie. In my many years in life I have found that there are not many of us around. Many look down on us. Many don't think we understand life because we haven't "lived" it. I look at it as a blessing. Not to be one who has had to deal with the pain and suffering of sin. It is not a "better then you" mentality but a gratefulness. I am not perfect and have struggled. Mine have just looked different.

I have been contemplating the two choices. The choice to follow God and the choice not to. I have heard people say that it is to difficult to follow God... so they don't even try. I have heard people make the conscious choice to go against God. Some don't even have a clue or understand any different. I have also seen those who have been faithful to walk upright and true. To walk in the true heritage of God. The one road may seem to be easy and carefree but it only leads to death. The second seems rough and hard but it is the true path to life. At a young age I have chosen the path of life.

I can not give you an exact date that I "accepted Jesus" I don't think I ever did. I saw truth at a young age and make the choice every day to accept it. Somedays are easier then others. But I still choose to accept.

There is a simplicity in the complication and hugeness of God.

I look at life and I look at who I know God to be, who He says He is: I AM.

His presence holds us together. Without him we wouldn't even be to make the choice, yet he allows us to do so.

It is just logic to me.

I don't need answers to all the unfathomable questions. Yes I have questions. Those questions and their answers fit inside an awesome God.

I have struggled in my self discovery. Who am I? What am I to be? These last years has been discovering that. I can tell you that I am more confident in who I am now then I use to be in the past.

I have discovered a love for people, especially youth!

I have discovered a confidence that I didn't have before.

So I continue on this journey called life. It is going to look extremely different from yours. But yet they can be very similar .

I still struggle. I still question. I still have doubts. I still dream. I still live each moment as it comes. But under it all. It's my foundation that counts and I really want to acknowledge my foundation for who He is.

I don't know what my future is going to look like. I wonder when God is going to bring that husband around. I wonder where God's going to take me and have me do. And even though I have conversations about these things with God often. I am confident in Him, though my confidence level goes up and down.

So I guess what I saying is I choose to take the "hard road" that in reality is the "easy road" and not try the "easy road" which in the long run is the "hard road".

It's a journey! Really it's an adventure!

Through The Green Glass Door

I am going through the Green Glass Door and I am taking a tree but leaving the bark.

Taking a pool but leaving the water

Taking some bubbles but leaving the gum

Taking pizza but leaving the plates

Taking my books but leaving my movies

Taking green but leaving blue

Taking Macbook but leaving the computer

Taking pills but leaving chocolate

Taking puppies but leaving dogs

Taking loopy but leaving Sanity.

Do you know this Game? It reminds me of my SST kiddos 2008...We would play this. Can you figure it out if not?

Applying life to God

I have sat in many of church services that give you the 5 steps to apply God into your life. I sit there thinking, "Something is so wrong here" First off, I HATE steps! 

The seven steps to happiness, or the 5 steps to knowing who God is. Seriously steps are the stupidest things ever! As if I could know God in 5 steps! 

It also bothers me that I am being told to apply God to life. It's backwards. We really need to apply life to God.  Our lives should be lived not because we have God compartmentalized into our life. But we are compartmentalized our lives into HIS life. 

It makes sense that the smaller thing fits into the bigger thing. Duh! So why do we try to do the opposite when it comes to God? Why do we try to fit him into our lives? 

IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK PEOPLE!!!!! It's not about us! Whoa, there's a shocker!

So I have a challenge for the Bride of Christ.

Let us flip it around and put ourselves in God's life instead of trying to fit him into ours. It makes sense. He is oh so much more bigger then we are. He is better in every way. 

Really it JUST MAKES SENSE!

Home

Due to the lifestyle that I live, I have discovered that the word "Home" has multiple meanings. 

Home, where I live.

Home, where I am staying.

Home, where I am at.

Home, where the heart is.

Home, where my family is.

I just went to a few different homes this last month. It's always wonderful being able to see my family and friends that I grew up with.  No matter where I go and what I do, this Home is always there. It changes a lot but at the same time it really doesn't.

We Malicks still go out once it gets dark and play Sanctuary Light. No matter how old we get.

We still sit around the dining room table and eat together. The faces may change some but whoever is there all sit down and enjoy a meal.

We still go and watch the church's softball team play. And the fans still get excited when we actually get a run in! :-) 

We still do the old traditions but there are new traditions. The family also grows.

My brother and Sis in law just had a beautiful baby girl two days after I arrived.  I will admit... I am enjoying the role of proud Auntie.  (For more pictures see my Facebook I have an album dedicated to just my niece.)

My family may be big. But I can't imagine it being any different.  I love being able to spend time with each of my siblings. To see how God is working in each of their lives.