Fighting Against Status Quo

Being back in Michigan wasn't what I had in my plans. I for sure didn't see that coming. My plan was to go to Thailand and be there for a year. Come back to renew my visa and head back. I went but due to circumstances I am now back again 5 months later. It's been hard being back because I sense the questions..... Or maybe it's just me. "What? She's back? Wasn't she going to be gone longer? What happened? Could she not handle it? Did something go wrong? Is she going back? She should have just stayed. Maybe it was to rough?"

Personally I don't like where I'm at. Personally I don't like not knowing what's going to happen. How long am I going to be here? I'm broke. I have no money, no airfare back to the place I am calling home. People are involved in their lives and it's hard to work into that. My Friends are all over the world.

I ask..... God couldn't I just get a job, and apartment, Involve myself in the lives of youth around me where I can actually communicate with them. It wouldn't be easier but it would be more solidified. At least I would hope so.

I'm not stupid enough to know that it would make life easier. But after these last few years there is something so appealing about working a "normal" job. Where I can say I worked this many hours and I know I will get this much money. I desire normalcy. I desire to be steady. Try out the other side of the fence and try that grass..... I probably would be ready to be back to my life in no time because despite this desire right now. This life style I am living, well it's in my blood. I would be ready to head out again in no time.

Shoot.... I'm just rambling. I don't even know if this makes any sense. If you are reading this by some chance. I hope it doesn't confuse you. But it boils down to this. God is faithful and He always will be. No matter what He has me doing in life, I will be obedient to what I know he has me doing. I will continue to be faithful to Him because he has shown me nothing but love, protection and provision and just because He is who He says He is. And I know, that I know, that I know, that I know, that he is the one and only true God who doesn't change. He will always be the same as He was yesterday, today and tomorrow.

And that is what it boils down to.

Pushing against what seems to be walls.

I was talking to my friend today and I told her this comment: "I'm just mad at man kind right now!" Due to a circumstance of frustration (being at war with United). And my friend said something interesting to me that made total sense! She said " Charity, I feel like this, it, all of it, it's much deeper then that. Deeper then man kind."

Well I don't know about you but I had a forehead slapping moment! OF COURSE! It is much deeper then that. It's not against flesh and blood that I'm at war with. I am at war with the enemy of the King. Suddenly Months of struggles flashed before my eyes. Mostly in the financial aspect but also emotional, physical and spiritual struggles. It's been happening in all areas of my life. It's been little things here and there. Some bigger things as well.... But in the mist of it I had forgotten that my battle isn't against flesh and blood.

Sometimes I feel like that baby bird that struggled to get out of the egg.... It pushed and pecked it's way out, exhausted and free it looks up to see that it's in another egg. And then another and another and another.

I know that God never promised it would be easy. But sometimes I want to find the easy way out and try that road. Course me being oh so smart knows that that road is only going to bring worse things so I continue on this dang hard road.

I guess I just wish that I would find a jack pot with a good looking prince sitting on it next to a new home that was deeded to me by some distant relative that had payed all the bills for the rest of my life, a maid coming to daily, a garage with good reliable working vehicles and an IPhone.

Hey.... It could happen here... and it will for sure happen in the future.

Being Single

One of the things that drives me nuts being a single person is how the world views it. I went to my grandfathers mega church in Ohio where I scanned through a bulletin. On it was advertising a group for the singles in the church. It said "Single? Come join us at _____ ______" That question irked me.... To me is said " Oh your single..... I'm so sorry about that. Why don't we put you in a group of other single people in hopes that maybe you will luck out and find your soul mate.

Society looks at singleness as a disease. Like it's something wrong with you if your single. It's a thought process that has seeped into our youth and kids as well. We are matching our children with our best friends children when they are still in their cradles. The world tells us that we are not complete until we are matched with someone.

There is a status that comes with being married. Being 28 and single, I find that at times I do not receive respect that someone who is married would receive. That my God given gifts aren't good enough for something because I am not married. My choices and decisions can't be really trusted because I haven't been married and there is not a man in my life.

There are always exceptions to this rule. There are always people who recognize that you are who you are and it doesn't change because of being married or not. I love those people.

I am content being single. I have enjoyed it very much. I have been able to do things in my life because I am single that I would have never been able to do if I was married.

Yes, I hope someday to find out who that guy is who will love and cherish me. Someone that I can love and respect in return. But I am not going to base my life on it. I'm going to keep walking out the direction that God sends me in and God is going to take care of the rest. I will not treat singleness as a disease or curse but as a blessing. I am not going to shrink back from what God has for me because of my marital status. If your single enjoy it. Chances are you will have more time being married in your life then you will be single. If your married.... Congrats! I'm thrilled for you. Just remember not to treat those who are still single as they are waiting for their life to start. Their life has been going on for a while now. Look at the person and the heart and not at the marital status!

Mini Events

Usually there are many mini events that take place in a day. Today I feel like that was one of those days for me when it was one moment to the next. First of living in a foreign country I have a real sense of appreciation for the creators of communication on the internet. From Facebook, Gmail, Skype etc. They have been my connection to the people I love and cherish far away from me. It also was a opening to frustrations today.... it was more in the form of a business. United Airlines... They have me on the border of being really pissed off right now. I feel like they ripped me off of $600 and "there is nothing they can do about it" Right.. So money doesn't grow on trees for me. And I called them back as soon as I realized the mistake. And now I am being tossed to and from person. "I'm sorry there is nothing I can do about it" What happened to integrity and honest dealings? I understand that they want to make a profit but honestly if they would work with me on this problem I would be more willing to fly with them again in the future. Right now I want to tell everyone I know "DON'T FLY UNITED!"

The regular ole joe doesn't have money to dish out. I wasn't expecting to lose that much money out of my account either to United it may not be that much but to me it's a fortune!

Wow.. I feel like I went off a tangent there. But it's fresh on my mind....

Back to how awesome the people in my life are..... The people in my life are such a blessing to me and I am glad that none of you work for United!

Here I am.... living in Thailand. Sometimes I sit back and wonder, could this really be real? I look back on my life and during those times of reflection, I wonder. How is it I have lived this life?How could this small farm girl from a simple life get to where I am today? I know that there is only one way. It's been about relationship the whole time. Only relationship would get me here. But I still have a sense of awe.

I'm not superwoman. I'm not someone who has it all together. In fact to have someone tell me that I do would make me laugh. I have struggled, oh I have struggled!

It has been a journey and it's not been easy. I know that the future isn't going to be easy. But God has been faithful to me every step of the way. Sometimes I doubted. Sometimes I didn't see a way through. But He's been oh so faithful to me all the time and He's going to be faithful to me in those future struggles. He's good all the time and his nature and character will never change because that is who he is.

I will keep reminding myself of that very fact. All the time.

Testimony of Blessing

The Ward Family and I had the privilege to be apart of a testimony service. A Believer in a village called together the surrounding believers. His testimony of God’s faithfulness was inspiring and one that many of us can relate to. Maybe not the situation, but the outcome.

He’s a farmer. It’s harvest season for his cabbages. As he’s harvesting he prays. “Lord, This is your crop. Maybe I could get 5 Baht for kilo of Cabbage. ( It is about 30 Thai Baht to 1 American Dollar.) Please provide I want to testify of your faithfulness.”

He arrives to market to find out that he is not going to get 5 Baht for his Cabbages… Instead he will receive 7 Baht for his cabbages. What a blessing to his family, church and community!

So he called together everyone to testify at God’s goodness. There was song, testimony, eating and fellowship. There was a spirit of joy in that place!

As I was sitting there I got to thinking about the blessings that God has given me. So many times we have such joy because of the blessing. But soon we forget about that blessing when the next hard time comes around. We forget about God’s goodness and provision. We forget that He is bigger then our problems. We forget that He never changes. He’s the same God of the blessings of the past and will be the same God with the blessings in the future as well. He won’t change that.

New Life

I think everyone has had times where they wish they could change their life and be someone else. Change the things that we don't like about ourselves, situations in our lives, difficult people around us. We see people who's lives seem to look so much better. We wish and fantasies about our different lives. There are chat rooms, websites and technology that helps us pretend to be someone else for a time being. But what if we stopped pretending and actually work towards being ourselves only better?

I've been thinking of the new life that God has for us. How he has the promise land all set up for us to walk into yet most of us are like the majority of the Israelites. We look and see the giants in the land so we freak out and say no way are we going to be able to go in and claim that land. It looks to hard. So we end up wandering in the desert and never see the promise land. Or are we a Caleb and Joshua? Who looked at the Promise Land and said " Yes we so can go in and claim it as our land... look who our GOD is! " They are the only two guys who got to go into the promise land. They got to experience their new life! They got to walk around and be apart of the new life God had for them. They got to walk in it..... To me that sounds like the most exciting thing to know the promise that God has given you and to be able to walk in it. I've experienced it myself. I know the joy and excitement when it comes to walking in the promises of God. Why don't you walk in those promises everyday? Why shouldn't you walk in them?

What is holding you back?

There is new life in the Promises of God. Your choose is....?